Dumb & Dumber

I consider myself to be an intelligent person. I love learning, I thrive on knowledge, and I have something I need to admit. I love the movie "Dumb and Dumber". I realize it might be the most ridiculously stupid movie of my time (at least of the ones I've seen), but it is my absolute favorite movie. It goes against every fiber of my being to like this movie - but I do anyway. It's on TBS tonight and I'm loving it, or I would if I had the chance to watch the whole thing without unnecessary interruption! Anyway...

Big news here today - #2 & #3 put together a 300-piece puzzle all by themselves. They are only 5 years old! I'm so proud! They are truly their mother's daughters! Yes, the same mama who is currently watching "Dumb and Dumber" but that's beside the point. I think I need the DVD... :)

Where is Spring?!

I am so ready for Winter to be over! We have been stuck in the house for most of the past 3 months, and I'm ready to get out! I have done very little this week beyond just the basics. I have exercised daily (yea me!) and am trying to get back to eating like I really should. I have to remind myself that I want to be healthy.

We had a few funnies this week. Add crawled into bed with me at 6:15 yesterday morning (way too early for her to get up!) and was determined to stay awake. After much tossing and turning she coughed a few times and I asked her if she "choked on a hairball." Her reply? "Noooo...I choked on your breath!" She always tells it like it is. Han. lost her second tooth last night and was SOOOOOOOOOOO excited. She hasn't stopped talking about it yet. She spent 30 minutes on the phone today with Meme & Papa and hasn't been quiet all day. Thank goodness she sleeps from time to time...my ears get tired of listening! Hope's mouth seems to be getting bigger by the day. She enjoys being the boss when her sisters allow it. Add's still my baby. She's my mama's girl, thank goodness!

Bring on the weekend, although I'm not sure that it will bring anything different from the other days of the week. What I wouldn't give for a vacation!

My Poor Sick Kiddos

I'll start with the good news: I've lost 60.5 pounds as of this morning. It was one year ago yesterday that I had my first weigh-in at 212.5, so I feel like I've made some great progress. If only I could celebrate...which leads me to the bad news. We are sick. There's been one of us sick for the past week, and now there are three of us sick. I don't handle this well. I worry uncontrollably and absolutely hate to see my little ones not feeling like themselves. So I won't be celebrating until everybody's back to normal. Hopefully that's soon. I guess it'll give me time to decide how I want to celebrate. It should be something good as 60 pounds is a lot! :)

Emotional Weight Loss - Part 1

I’ve thought for awhile that while my physical weight seems to come off relatively easily (you know, with the basic eat-right/exercise often activities) it seems to take a little more time for the emotional “weight” to come off. While I’m no longer physically the fat girl that I always felt I was, I still feel like the fat girl emotionally. I think that’s probably my biggest struggle because I don’t have a way to see results like I do with my physical weight. I can step on the scale and know when another pound has melted, but there’s just no way I can visualize my results in the emotional arena. I still feel like I’m being judged or overlooked because I still feel like the fat girl. I'm improving on my idea that the fat girl of years past is now the girl who will not be treated with disrespect. I owe it to myself to stand up for myself. I owe it to my daughters to stand up for myself. I owe it to myself to forgive myself for not having the confidence to stand up for myself in years past. That’s what I’m working on - forgiving myself. It’s just another step in the journey…

Confidence? Me?

I've worked out this morning, so I'm feeling good about the day. It's amazing how much more energy and confidence I have when I begin the day with some exercise. I need to keep that up as I am severely lacking in the confidence area. I put on a good show - you know, the smile, the always-in-control look, the brave face - but I am a ball of nerves on the inside. I don't really know why I do it. Maybe it's that I'm afraid to let anyone in on the real me. I'm sensitive and have been hurt, but who hasn't? To some degree I am angry at myself for allowing others to hurt me, and that's difficult to get over. I have forgiven others, I just have to forgive myself as well. I was a people-pleaser for a long time, until my daughters were born and I felt that they deserved for me to stand up for them, no matter what anyone else thought. Okay, I just had an AHA! moment. I've never thought I was important enough to stand up and say what I think. That's probably why I was overweight as well. I just wasn't important, I wasn't a priority. That seems like such an easy realization to make. I do deserve to be healthy. I do deserve to be happy. I do deserve to have an opinion that matters.

Happy New Year!

Okay, so it's the first day of 2008 and I'm ready to start something new. Last year I began a weight loss journey that has resulted in the loss of 58 unnecessary pounds. Just 10-15 more - I can see my goal in the distance. This year, I'm trying to prepare myself for a myriad of changes in my life. My daughters are growing up and I'm not ready for that yet! I'm going to use this blog to track my continued exercise/eating right/weight loss progress. I'll also be using it as an outlet for any stress that I, being a high-anxiety person who doesn't open up well, might be facing. I don't handle stress especially effectively, and I have a very hard time allowing anyone else to know what I'm really feeling, so this is a big step for me. Hopefully I'll improve myself emotionally as well as physically! :)