Blessings

I catch myself sometimes asking the inevitable question of trials:  “Why me?”  And to be honest, it’s not even usually a question of “Why me?” but a question of “Why them?”  What I mean is, I have a couple children who have faced a multitude of difficulties since their birth.  And one would think that eventually they would begin to sort of earn their way out of trials.  That’s what I would hope for at least.  It doesn’t seem to work that way.  They have been fighting through difficulties from the very beginning and continue to do so to this day.  But as I get wiser and stronger (which seems to have happened only because I have endured those struggles as well), I realize that we are amazingly blessed because we have been through so much, not in spite of enduring so much.  That’s kind of a big AH-HA moment, I think.  Had we not had to fight for everything we have, we would have taken these things for granted just like so many other people do.  I would not have been as excited about every little accomplishment.  I would not have seen the importance of letting go of the little things and focusing only on the big picture.  I have realized that I need to give my worries to God.  And believe me, I have.  I know the importance of having a supportive core of family and friends, and I am so fortunate to have them.  I’m also realizing that there are people who just can’t be included in my life, and that’s difficult for me to understand.  There are those who far overestimate their importance in the grand scheme of things, and I just can’t allow that toxicity in my life.  Probably the biggest and most important realization is that this is not my home.  This is preparation for my eternal life.  I think I’m going to well-prepared.

Part of the inspiration for this post was from the song “Blessings” by Laura Story.  Take a listen.  You will not be sorry.  ~ D

Blessings by Laura Story

Hmmm...

I'm having one of those moments that I almost don't want to acknowledge for fear of breaking the 'spell' that is currently in effect.  We have friends coming tonight for a cookout, and we're trying to get lots of things done today.   I've been working in the living room and kitchen, but Hope and Addie have told me they're in charge of the table.  They have it sparkling clean and just finished sweeping the kitchen floor.  It's so nice to have their help!  Hannah is working on her room...I think.  It's almost too quiet in there, like there's nothing being accomplished.  Maybe I'd better go check that out...

Shaping Up!

Since I seem to require a journey, of sorts, I'm embarking on a new one.  Well, it's not actually new, it's just revived.  And maybe it's not that I think I require a journey, but that God thinks I require a journey.  I'm just taking off on a new one before He throws another undesirable journey my way!  There have been other adventures that have had to take precedence over this one, but I think I'm finally in a place where this journey can come near the top of my list of priorities.  Curious yet?  I'm back on the get-healthy wagon.  I haven't taken care of myself in the last ?? months.  I have been consumed by things bigger than myself, so I had to take the back seat.  I wouldn't change that.  My job as a mother is to demonstrate love, and that's precisely what I have done.  Now I have to give myself that same love and care, because that's important too.  I have teamed up with two fantastic friends, and we are on a mission.  We all have different goals, but we're cheering each other on and holding each other accountable.  I need that.  I need to have someone who is willing to cheer for me when I accomplish something and kick me in the pants when I need it.  I think they can handle the job! :)  So I'm excited about getting back to it with my friends.  We might not see each other often, but we're going to share our ups and downs in the coming months.  I can't wait!

Summer!

I think it's definitely summer in Kansas.  I had hoped to have a cool summer, but I don't think that's going to happen.  Hope finally got rid of the heat rash on her back yesterday, so I'm trying to keep her cool enough so she doesn't develop another one in the near future.  The girls have been going out as soon as they get dressed in the morning to take care of Gilbert (the bunny).  This works out pretty well since he's not a big fan of the heat either.  The girls are also doing some summer homework-type activities for me.  It keeps them in the learning mood and also keeps them busy.  Addie's already got a plan to get a book about the Eiffel Tower when we go to the library tomorrow. 

Our latest news is that we'll be adding another critter to the family next month.  We will be the proud family of a yellow lab puppy that was born on May 31.  Hope wants to name it Minnie.  Her sisters want to name it Molly.  We'll see what happens...  It should be fun! 

Long Time, No Blog!

Wow!  To say a lot has happened since my last post wouldn't even begin to describe it!  But all of that has been covered on Hope's CaringBridge site.  Suffice it to say, it has been a L-O-N-G spring.  Romans 5:3-4 says, "Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."  I feel like we have all been the recipients of a healthy dose of hope.  I, personally, feel like I've made the journey through suffering, perseverance, character and hope.  I don't know how many times I have asked myself how people survive difficult situations without faith.  I could not have survived without my faith, along with an amazing group of family and friends who held me up when I couldn't face any more. 

But now we're home.  Hope is healing beautifully and has adjusted to life (at least for 6 months) in a brace.  She is a strong, confident young lady.  This summer will be different for us.  There won't be any swimming trips, and our time outside will be severely limited to cool times of the day.  Hope develops heat rash on a nearly daily basis already, so the heat of summer will not be enjoyable for her.  We'll be going back to Iowa in July for a check-up, but that's hardly vacation! 

On the plus side, we'll be home this summer and able to spend some fun times together.  The girls continue to love reading, so there will be many library trips.  Hope has also developed into quite a helper in the kitchen, so I see some great recipes in our future.  We'll have to blog those on the cooking blog! :)  I am so blessed!

Little Things

I’ve heard so many people lately complain about the little things in life.  You know the stuff, laundry, ironing, ornery kids, etc.  I’m a little bothered by that right now, because I see things very differently.  That’s probably because we have faced so much adversity with our girls.  I feel blessed that I have a family who needs me to do laundry.  Even the arguing kids, as irritating as that can be, remind me how blessed I am to have all three little arguing pipsqueaks.  And really, when I can watch them get along beautifully and walk down the road holding hands, even if that’s not always how it is, what more could I possibly want?  I will never take any of that for granted.  And for that, I am eternally grateful. 

Conversation with God

I realize it sounds bizarre, but it really just happened.  You know, sometimes God speaks loud enough (and my heart is open enough) to force me to hear him.  I was thinking (as I was gathering up the trash, but that's not really important), "I wish I could just relax."  I was considering how crummy I've felt for the last two weeks due primarily to the stress involved with the girls' current situation.  (Which, incidentally, you can follow at caringbridge.org/visit/hopevancleave).  No sooner had I thought that, than I heard, "Who says you can't?"  Talk about a kick in the pants.  It's true.  Who says I can't relax?  Who says I can't just set my eyes on the prize at the end and know that God will take care of us?  Who says I can't just give all my cares to God?  Who says my worrying will help anything?  Nobody.  Or maybe it's Satan trying to make things worse.  I don't know.  The big lesson here, though, is that I don't have to be tied up in knots all the time.  After all, Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. "  All I need to do is face the task at hand in a Christ-like manner.  I'm feeling a little more peaceful already.